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How Identify Your Feelings?

Belinda Crooke

Lifestyle| Coaching| Restoration

Feelings are frequent every day and present in our daily basics, although they are difficult to identify and isolate.   Hasn't it happened to you that someone asks you how are you feeling? and although you answer that is “I’m ok or good thanks or I’m living the dream”, right?   but my question is:  are you feeling the way that you said?

•  I challenge you to think about it for a moment and answer the following questions:
•  Is the answer that you gave automatically in the way that you recall feeling?
• Are you aware of your feelings?
•  Can you name what emotions or feelings you have right now?
• Are you unsure of your feelings right now?

 If you gave answers to the previous questions and could not clearly determine your real feeling; don’t worry, because most people can not clearly identify how they are feeling.  Identifying our own feelings can be difficult for multiple reasons, here are some of them:

1. Lack of self-awareness: This is because we generally don't take the time to reflect on our own feelings and emotions; exploring ourselves is more difficult, as we are usually more focused on our surroundings.
2. Emotional blockages: there may be emotional blockages that prevent us from feeling or expressing our emotions clearly and directly. Usually, this is caused by past traumas, bad experiences, emotional stress, depression, and anxiety, among other things.
3. Emotional confusion: Sometimes emotions can be confusing and contradictory, which can make it difficult to identify our feelings. For example, we may feel sad and happy at the same time or experience a mixture of emotions that are difficult to identify.
4.  Lack of skills to identify emotions: The ability to identify and express emotions is a skill that can be learned and improved. If we've never learned to identify our emotions, it can be hard to do so.
5. Fear of being vulnerable: Identifying and expressing our feelings can make us feel vulnerable and exposed; which can cause fear or anxiety when sharing our emotions with others and even recognizing ourselves.

As you could notice identifying and expressing our feelings is an important part of emotional well-being and mental health, but it is not an easy task unless if we never learned to do it; This is why I think we must define what feelings really are, to have a clearer concept that helps us.

 DEFINITIONS

 Feelings are subjective experiences in response to a particular situation or stimulus. They are the internal perception of our emotions and can be positive, negative, or neutral.

 It is also hard to say that feelings are usually associated with a specific emotion, such as happiness, love, sadness, fear, anger, or surprise, and can manifest in a wide variety of forms, from a physical sensation in the body to a change in mood or thinking.

 So, is there a difference between feelings and emotions?

Although they are related to each other, we can say that if there is a difference, emotions are the immediate physical and psychological responses to a stimulus, whether internal or external. For example, a person may experience emotions such as fear, joy, sadness, anger, or surprise in response to a particular situation.

Emotions are often intense and short-lived, and can be expressed in both body and mind; while, on the other hand, feelings are the cognitive response to emotions. Feelings are a person's way of interpreting and understanding their emotions, and they can be more enduring than emotions. For example, if a person experiences fear in response to a dangerous situation, their feelings may include anxiety, worry, or persistent fear.

Now let's classify emotions, particularly I will base this classification on the theory of the American psychologist Carroll Izard which classifies emotions into:

1. Basic emotions: These are universal feelings believed to be innate and found in all cultures, such as fear, joy, sadness, anger, disgust, and surprise.
2. Secondary emotions: are more complex feelings and are derived from basic emotions. For example, shame, guilt, envy, admiration, gratitude, and pride.
3. Mixed emotions: These are feelings that arise from the combination of different emotions, such as love, which can involve joy, tenderness, passion, and commitment.
4. Moods: These are low-level feelings that can last longer than emotions and are not related to a specific event. Some examples are sadness, happiness, anxiety, and apathy.

It is important to note that this classification is neither definitive nor universally accepted, as there are other ways to classify feelings according to different theories and approaches.

Feelings are an important part of our emotional life and play an important role in how we interact with the world around us. Feelings can be influenced by factors such as culture, education, age, experience, and interpersonal relationships. Often, the feelings may be difficult to put into words, which can lead to misunderstandings or difficulties communicating with others; However, by understanding and expressing our feelings, we can improve our ability to relate to others and live an emotionally healthier and more fulfilling life.

There is research on feelings and emotions by which they are expressed, the research that caught my attention is research conducted by Lisa Feldman Barrett, an American psychologist who has researched, how emotions are built in the brain; in this study, Barrett and colleagues asked participants to label their emotions while experiencing a variety of emotional stimuli. They found that people tended to label emotions differently depending on culture and context, suggesting that the construction of emotions may be influenced by cultural and social factors.  Barrett's theory of constructed emotions is described in his book How Emotions are Made: The Secret Life of the Brain, in case you're interested in digging deeper into the research done.

 Recognizing our emotions and feelings will help us to be able to open up to ourselves and allow us to see the emotions of others in an empathetic way; for this reason, it is advisable to self-evaluate and identify our feelings; as a help for this I recommend that you review our questionnaire Identifying my emotions, which we provide in the article published in this blog Relieving a Broken Heart, test that will help you identify your emotions so you can start the process;  To enter the questionnaire just click on the name of the article.

 On the other hand, also below are some exercises that you can follow to help you recognize personal feelings and those of others since it is important to have greater happiness and avoid yourself and others a broken heart; at the same time this may be the first step to healing if you're suffering from a broken heart:

 1.  Stop for a moment and reflect on your emotions: Instead of simply reacting to emotions, take a moment to reflect on what you're feeling and why. This can help increase awareness of emotional states and allow for a more conscious and effective response.

2.  Pay attention to bodily signals: Emotions often manifest in changes in the body, such as muscle tension or rapid heart rate. Pay attention to these bodily signals to identify the emotions you are experiencing.

3.  Practice empathy: Try to understand the emotions of others through empathy. This may involve paying attention to nonverbal cues, such as facial expression and body language, and trying to understand circumstances and perspectives that may be affecting the other person's emotions.

4.  Use emotional measurement tools: You can use emotional measurement tools, such as emotional rating scales or apps for tracking emotions, to help increase awareness of emotional states and better understand how you feel.

Before finishing this article I want you to know that we can manage your feeling I know probably you are thinking if managing our feeling is really possible and I’m confirming that yes, it is; but you have to know that isn’t an easy task,  but I’m sure that it can be developed and improved through practice and reflection because I had been practicing this for years and the result is very satisfactory; for now, I’m going just to mention some important notes and I probably will be creating a deeper article about Emotional Intelligence in the future.

When I started my professional career, in the Dominican telephone company (Initially called CODETEL, then Verizon, and today called Claro) one of the topics that were very avant-garde, was emotional intelligence, since I started to learn about Emotional intelligence I could never stop because I was quite captivated about learn more and put it on practice.

I learned that emotions and feelings can be identified, channeled, and manage, by reading the support books that had been written by Daniel Goleman, I personally read those books more than 3 times and I keep going to them from time to time, they are about Emotional Intelligence and they are awesome; I will leave you the details below, In case you want to take a look I really recommend them.

 In general, learning to recognize feelings can be a gradual process, but it is a valuable skill that can improve our understanding of ourselves and others.  If you find it difficult to identify your own feelings, it can be helpful to work on self-awareness and emotional regulation skills through techniques such as journaling or therapy.

As you have been able to read emotions and feelings is a complex topic that has generated a wide range of studies, so if you liked the subject, I invite you to investigate more, you will be surprised by the amount of material you can find in bookstores, as well as on the internet about it. For the moment I want you to remember that the first step to being able to heal a broken heart is to recognize what you are feeling and this you can do if you know how to identify your feelings and the emotions associated with them; This is why knowing and analyzing yourself will help you a lot in this process of self-knowledge and acceptance.

Once you recognize in yourself or in another person the feelings you are ready to work on yourself or help that person in the healing process; There is nothing more pleasant than being able to help others if we have the possibility to do so, it is more than proven that by helping others we manage to help ourselves in an indirect way, because there is a greater blessing in giving than in receiving. See you in my next article which I know you will love and will give you more tools to heal or help that person who is in a painful process.

Share this article, contact me, and follow me on my social networks; I want you to know that I would love to hear from you. Let us make this project a community that is a blessing to many; It will be until next time.

Belinda Crooke

Photo by Tengyart on Unsplash

Important Links:

1. My Broken Heart Relief Coloring Book (Available on Amazon).  Broken Heart Relief, here is the link to where you can buy it.
2.  I recommend reading The Bible is excellent for spiritual help.
3.  Blog - https://belindacrooke.blogspot.com/
4.  YouTube - Belinda Crooke Eng - YouTube
5.  TikTok -https://www.tiktok.com/@belindacrooke
6.  Pinterest- @Belindacrookeng
7.  Instagram - @belindacrookeeng
8.  How Emotions Are Made: The Secret Life of the Brain (Available on Amazon).
9.  Emotional Intelligence: Why It's More Important Than IQ (Available on Amazon).
10.  Emotional Intelligence: For a Better Life, success at work, and happier relationships. Improve Your Social Skills, Emotional Agility and Discover Why ... IQ. (EQ 2.0) (Brandon Goleman Collection)